Totalled

36 days ago I was hurt in a car accident. I was driving to work, and stopped about a block away from where I work. Unfortunately the driver behind me did not get the memo on her iPhone, and slammed into the trunk and bumper of my car, pushing my car into the rear end of the car in front of me. The driver of this car jumped out of her car screaming “Fuck! You just ruined my brand new car! “

As she walked past my car to get to the car that had rear ended me, she realized the driver was her co-worker. Her initial anger disappeared and soon she was comforting the driver who started this unfortunate event.

In the weeks to come, I was to learn that the insurance company was not going to fix my car, as they determined the car was totalled. I was still driving it back and forth to work, so the damage, while significant, was not so bad that I couldn’t drive the car. The cost of the repairs was more than the book value of the car, hence the designation of the car as totalled. The car was bought new in 2009, and had accumulated about 285,000 kilometres, or klicks as we call them in Canada. The arm rests were taped together with gaffer’s tape. The original keys were both broken. I was using the clicker to open the car, and the valet’s key to drive. As such, I wasn’t surprised by the insurance company’s decision.

In the matter of my body and well being, I was not “totalled” by the collision. The medical team, consisting of my GP, chiropractor, physiotherapist, and registered massage therapist, did not want write me off, preferring to see the value still left in this battered body of mine.

When I say battered, please don’t take that as a prelude to deep fat frying. My medical team prefers broasting. I am suffering the full effects of whiplash, with much pain in my neck and shoulders. For the past ten days, the pain has been almost unbearable. Particularly when driving to and from work. My doctor reduced my work hours to three days a week to help me heal, as frankly I was exhausted.

It is interesting to note that while the battered car is totalled, I am being given the benefit of a rehab program. If I was a dog, my owner’s would be considering the pros and cons of having me put down. If I was a horse, I might have been shot. But the Medical professionals see some value left in this mind and body. They are not ready to write me off.

A write-off is a reduction of the recognized value of something. Perhaps it would be better to consider a write-down, which in accounting terms is the recognition of the reduced value of this impaired asset. That describes me better. A write-down.

I am feeling a bit like a down writer, as opposed to a dumbwaiter. The toll of abuse suffered by my body in the past two years is starting to get to me. As a result of the radiation, my sense of taste is still impaired. I am having to deal with the ignominy of “dry mouth”, which affects the way I speak, and makes singing pretty much impossible.

Still I am reminded that I definitely have it better than so many others, and given a few months perspective, I may look back on these trials as character building. But I’m getting a bit tired of building character. How does one build character? A quick Google search brought up the following words of wisdom from Rebecca Crespo, on her site https://www.minimalism made simple.com

Here are her 23 steps to building character:

1. Know yourself

2. Surround yourself with inspirational people

3. Never stop learning from others

4. Avoid toxic people

5. Be open to new experiences

6. Take care of yourself

7. Be open to the opinions of others

8. Learn to deal with your mistakes

9. Understand that life is not fair

10. Always try your best

11. Accept what you can’t change

12. Forgive yourself and others

13. Stand up for what you believe in

14. Be patient with yourself and others

15. Don’t be afraid to ask for help

16. Set goals and stick to them

17. Be open to change

18. Be a role model for others

19. Stay humble

20. Let go of your ego

21. Be honest with yourself and others

22. Be strong in spirit

23. Face your fears head on

24. Be thankful for what you have

While this is an admirable list of virtues, I don’t see her saying anything about having a triple bypass, or cancer , or being in a car accident.

We just keep on keeping on. One day at a time. One step after another. Walking the evil dog that whines at 2:50, 3:45, 5:00 and 7:35. Michelle took the first walk, while I got the joy of doing the others.

Still, I am thankful that I have not been struck by lightning, shot by government drone, suffered defenestration, boiled in water, or broasted after being marinated in wine and garlic.

The sky is blue. The sun is out. I am in the middle of a four day weekend. I am listening to great music by Connie Cunningham and the Creeps, Snakelife by Allison Russell, Monstress by Beau Wheeler, the new Colleen Rennison album, and Doug Andrew and the Circus of Flames. My cup is half full of hot coffee, and I just finished my second breakfast.

Signed

Your friend

Denny Downer

And once again thank you,thank you, thank you to all the good folks who read This Is Not Music! Special shout out to the paid subscribers!!