Why Cancer Is So Fuckable

Fuck Cancer. I survived cancer and all I got was this lousy Fuck Cancer T-Shirt. Actually, it is very cool and there are only a few left. I worried at some point if I would sell the rest, as they might be time sensitive. People might say “ I wanted one when he was fighting cancer, but now that the battle is “won”, perhaps I don’t need that now.”

But you would be wrong. Because cancer never gets old. It is always fuckable. So fuckable.

I was at a house party last night-remember those? There have been a reducing amount of house parties as I have aged; in my youth, we would always be up for one. But age and that damn pandemic put the kibosh on the classic house party.

Also, very few friends have houses. In the old days, we would rent a whole house, and split it up into rooms with shared kitchens, bathrooms, and living areas. That was how we dealt with what we perceived as high rents. Little did we know that 40 years later those “high” rents would look so low. We rented a three bedroom house for $250! The oil heat was another $100 in the winter. We would to call the oil company and ask them to please bring us oil, and promise we would pay in the next week. I also made about $5000 a year salary.

This house party was located in a beautiful house on the east side, with a view of the water and the north shore. My friend had built this from a smaller house that was originally there, with the present house, consuming the smaller house. It was gorgeous. Many levels, a live band, and so many friends that I had not seen in such a long time. And my friend, the birthday girl.

For most people, it was the first time they had seen me since my treatments. I have gained back 12 lbs and look alot more healthy and presentable. I saw some friends there that I had not seen in many years, and we had some great conversations and shared our memories from other times.

Inevitably there was talk about my cancer, which is fine, and talk about my writing, which is also fine. As the evening progressed, more people shared cancer stories, either personal, or part of updating us on other friends who weren’t at the party.

Some of these friends who weren’t there, were cancer survivors. Some had unfortunately passed away. That is the way conversations go when you are past a certain age. If you are not talking about the past, or foods you had passed, or how life may have passed you by, you will be talking about friends who have passed. Cancer is still a frequent cause of our demise.

I was reading yesterday about an increase in the western world of what is termed “excess deaths.” These are defined as death above and beyond what the experts have predicted.

While some of those deaths are now Covid related, I don’t know of any personal friends who Covid took. Drugs, yes. Poverty, yes. Mental illness and suicide, yes. And of course the old stand-bys Cancer and heart disease.

Not everyone is a survivor of cancer. That is why it is still so fuckable. It will always be fuckable, as cancer is not picky. It affects everyone. Young. Old. Rich. Poor. Men. Women. Children.

This morning I am looking at Instagram and see a post from Robyn Hitchcock, who has had some health issues lately. There is a picture of a beautiful woman that he posted, who is apparently his daughter. She just died from a rare form of cancer that she battled from a stage 4 diagnosis for three years. His words as he describes his daughter, and their relationship and how special she was to him, break my heart as I glimpse into their pain.

Many people battle cancer for years, which is why we take each day one at a time. I will have my PET Scan in October to see if I have the “all clear.” I feel positive that I will, but nothing is guaranteed.

The only thing that is guaranteed in this life, and that everyone has a beginning and an end. One day our life will end here on earth. Where we go after that, I don’t have a clue. The one thing so do know is that many people get to the end, and they want to start all over again.

I’ll let Robbie Robertson take you out :

Now Deep In The Heart Of A Lonely Kid
Who Suffered So Much For What He Did,
They Gave This Ploughboy His Fortune And Fame,
Since That Day He Ain't Been The Same.
See The Man With The Stage Fright
Just Standin' Up There To Give It All His Might.
And He Got Caught In The Spotlight,
But When We Get To The End
He Wants To Start All Over Again.