Trigger Warning -Chemo isn’t Cheemo!

“This information is not meant to scare you.”

Are you surprised that these words did not reassure me? That they had the absolute opposite effect. Information can be scary; sometimes you don’t want to know. To be oblivious. Ignorance is bliss.

I’ve been working so hard to reassure myself and to be positive, that when I heard the information that wasn’t supposed to scare me, I just sighed. Then I melted into myself.

I start the chemo and radiation treatments on Tuesday, or what they call Systemic Therapy. The chemo kills cancer, but is so toxic that they advise you to keep all your bodily fluids to yourself, definitely stay away from children, dogs, pregnant women, and generally all the people you love for 48 hours after the Chemo. To be fair, they prescribe anti nausea medication to help control the nausea and vomiting, but all of these drugs have their own potential side effects. As does the radiation.

On the bright side, on Monday, The Nightflower Orchestra goes into the studio to record 4 or 5 songs. So those songs will finally find a home, everyone will be able to hear them. Every time a band goes into the studio, it is exciting but you never really know how it will turn out. I love these songs and I love these guys, who are all so freaking talented. And I believe it’s going to be magic.

The next day, chemo. Which is not Cheemo therapy as Tony joked. That would be great. All the perogies you can eat! Fried onions! Cheese. Even bacon.

We are a lot of comfort food the year we lived in White Rock with Michelle’s Dad, Pat. Meatloaf with gravy and mashed potatoes, baked spaghetti, Pat’s Famous Flat Dogs. He didn’t call them that, but we did. He had a panini grill and we would cook the hot dogs in water, chop tomatoes fine, chop raw onions fine, load them into the bun along with the Weiner, and grill in the panini grill, hence the name Flat Dog. The good thing about being 65 is that 7 weeks doesn’t seem so long.

I know I’m going to make it out of this, and come out on the other side. But I can’t kid myself here. I am about to enter a season of hell. Which reminds me of the Leafs.

I’m watching the Leafs play the Panthers. Currently Toronto is behind 3-2. I have no problem cheering on Toronto. It’s a welcome distraction.

Just like every other sport…the rule is anybody but Boston. So I’ll be an Instant Leaf fan.

Just think of this throat cancer as Boston. It’s going down like Brad Marchand.