Tthis is an old bit from MAD TV with Bob Newhart, and Mo Collins. Two simple words are presented as the key to fixing all your problems.
Stop it.
It’s that simple. If you really want to move on, then move on. I was checking in with a friend who is undergoing the same treatments for the same kind of cancer that I had. He finished his treatment the other day, and is going through the post treatment phase. Like me , he experienced dry mouth and continued sore throat. His energy level isn’t great but it’s improving. His weight has stabilized but he is not really gaining weight yet – he is starting to eat more solid food but still has to supplement with meal replacement drinks 3 times a day for the calories.
Reading his update brought back memories. Not great memories, but it is amazing how quickly, in retrospect , we move through what seems life changing, into what is just life. I can start complaining about where I’m at now, how the dry mouth has changed my voice, how I drink about 4-6 litres of water per day, how since my car accident, the effects of the whiplash combined with my recovery from cancer treatment has left me exhausted, unable to work a full five days a week. I could say how disappointing it is that I had to cancel the comeback show with The Judys, because my voice is not capable of singing right now.
I could talk about the effects of the whiplash on driving, my limits to my mobility with my neck, how I feel when I get into a car, and look in the rear view mirror, and see the car behind me coming up fast to a stop, how that uncertainty of their actual stopping makes me anxious, how I see the road back to better health is longer now. Not forever, but longer.
I was fortunate with my bypass operation, as there were no complications. My health seemed to gradually improve. The same is true with cancer treatment, there is improvement. I see that when I speak with my friend and hear how he is doing a few weeks after his treatment ended. But for every improvement, there are setbacks or new challenges.
I could complain about how unfair this is, and how exhausting it is, and how on the weekend, I just want to sleep all day. I could do that. Or I could just stop it.
Stop it. Because I’m still here, unlike another friend of mine who didn’t make it. Because I have the love and support of my wife and daughter and family and network of friends, like this Substack. How so many if you have become paid subscribers.
I have so much to be thankful for. I may have whiplash, but I wasn’t crushed, my airbag did not go off, my car did not catch fire, and no one died. It all could be so much worse.
So stop it. Move on, or at the very least, just keep moving. Progress is measured in increments. In sales we look for the big win, or to use a sports metaphor, there is the beauty of the long bomb. But the real progress, the real path to winning, is to keep gaining a few yards here and there, but to keep moving up the field. Incremental changes. And before you know it, you can look back and see how far you’ve come.
So stop it. Sometimes we have to pull the plug on complaints, because it just makes everyone around you feel lousy. Who likes to listen to complaints? The rains have not come. The darkness of winter is not here yet. Oh, I know it’s coming. I don’t look forward to winter. One year, I will have enough money to take my love and go somewhere warm to break up the darkness. Perhaps I should be planning that now. Take steps to get to a better place. Look for the light.
In the meantime, Happy 94th Birthday to Bob Newhart.
And stop it.
More wise words Dennis, thanks for sharing...
It is so great when we can climb to the point where we realize we have the power to "stop it". In the meantime, a bit of sharing and complaining about one's ordeal with sympathetic ears can be helpful, as you know... Thanks for another good piece of the story! X