I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m going to bite the bullet and get right to the point. I’ve been through thick and thin, and now I’m firmly in the thin camp. Having cancer was more than being under the weather, whether it’s cat and dogs that are raining, or birds dropping road apples in your eyes. When the wind starts to blow the wrong way, yes Virginia, the wind can blow the wrong way, there is a right way and a wrong way to blow the wind. I heard about someone who was blown off the hook, although how he got on the hook, beats me to the punch. When we have to start punching birds, we better consult the experts.
Even the experts can’t figure it out. For the life of me, I can’t even figure out who the experts are any more. I’ve heard there is expert shortage, something to do with shrinkage and Jordan Peterson. But before we all just call it a day, let’s make sure we leave no stone unturned. Simple math tells us we can kill two birds with one stone, which given the price of stones in China, could of course, be a blessing in the skies.
I can go on about why elephants do not belong in rooms, and given my age, I could talk about birds in disguise until I’m blue in the face. This state of blue, or blue state if you are American, can also be achieved simply by ceasing to insist on breathing. Breathing is overrated, said both Siskel and Ebert. What with the cost of tea in China, or those gain of function tests in Wuhan, breath is in short supply, except maybe bad breath which smells worse than when you let one of your cats out of the bag. Why one would put their cat in the bag is a mystery, unless you see them walking by the river collecting stones.
Well time is money kids, which if you like This Is Not Music, you can not only subscribe, but send lawyers, guns and money. I mean get your act together readers, I I’ m dying in the weeds here. I already did blue in the last paragraph, and I’m running out of cats. Apparently once you let the cat out of the bag, you then have to skin it, which given my odds, is like putting the egg before the horse.
Now did I get that right? Is it egg before horse, or horse before egg? It depends, said the old man. The answer to this age old question is which came first. Which is nothing like the even older question, who came first? The experts on this subject are in the oldest profession.
I was so discombobulated the other day at work, frazzled is the technical term, that I malapropped myself right into a Yogi Berra conundrum. As he mortally said, It’s not over ‘til it’s over easy, unless you like your egg sunny side up.
You can observe a lot just by watching the news. It seems someone was circumcised, then crossed his fingers, and “died” for few days, then came out of retirement like DOA, saw their shadow, and now we have everlasting wars in his name. Like that mess in the Holy Lands.
Only in America could this happen.