Neck and neck

In our neck of the woods, people don’t beat around the bush. In the race to the bottom, we are running neck and neck, which sounds like a law firm that advertises on TV at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Have you been injured in a car accident?

Call Neck and Neck, because when you are in thick of it, we’ll always be with you, offering you a helping hand. In this detour on the road to Hell, hands down, Neck and Neck is your new friend. Let’s face it, this is no ordinary chasing your tail situation. So I reached out. Hands. Touching hands. Reaching out. Touching me. Touching you….

I was injured in a car accident a month and a half ago. It was a sunny day, and good things were coming down the pike. Life was a bowl of cherries, as they say back in the day. It’s all a whole lot of fun until someone puts an eye out. I was one of the lucky ones, as my eyes have seen the glory, however, I did suffer whiplash, hence my preoccupation with all things neck.

Remember necking? When I was a teenager, necking was something different; it was something that I was lucky to do on the school bus, fanoodling with Rhonda in the dark on the way back home from the field trip to Salem. Our class had gone there to witness a committee of elected officials discuss the merits of building a nuclear power plant. On the ride home, this brave lad got to second base as they used to say. A ground ball up the middle, looks like an easy out, but the shortstop bobbles the ball, scoring this as a fielder’s error,(as opposed to a fielder’s choice). I had no choice. It was dark, and we sitting together, making out. Necking. When you are young and in love, you think it will last forever. Alas, it didn’t. Rhonda moved on, going out next with a Republican.

Lately my neck has been on the chopping block. From the discovery of Lump, to the radiation and chemo, Neck was subjected to the bulk of the trauma of the treatment. When it was over, the hair on my neck had disappeared, leaving my skin as smooth as a baby’s bottom. I lost about thirty pounds, so the skin on my neck hung like a turkey’s wattle. After about 6 weeks, I started having some issues again with swallowing, the food jamming up near the back of my throat. I have to have a glass of water on hand to wash it down. As well, the skin in the front and middle of my neck seemed thicker, almost swollen. My wife thought perhaps it was a goiter, which relates to the thyroid. She encouraged me to contact the doctor to see what it was. As luck would have it, my doctor was on vacation, so I called up the BC Cancer hotline to see if I could see someone there. I gave them the rundown on my neck and the round swollen part. Later they called me back and said it was most likely lymphedema.

Lymphedema is the build-up of fluid in soft body tissues when the lymph system is damaged or blocked. The lymph system is a network of lymph vessels, tissues, and organs that carry lymph throughout the body. Lymphedema occurs when lymph is not able to flow through the body the way that it should. It usually happens in the arms or legs, but can occur in other parts of the body. Lymph fluid helps fight infections throughout the body.

Sometimes a swelling develops. It can happen quickly, or it may develop slowly over several months. In cases like mine, it often occurs around 6 weeks to 6 months after radiation treatment to the neck. They give some massage techniques and offer compression to help alleviate the swelling. Similar to the effect of wearing compression socks, which I also use when fluid builds up in my legs. Do not consult Dr. Google, as the pictures of deformed legs and arms might scare you, just as they scared me. There is no cure for the lymphedema, but if caught in the early stages, it may be reversible.

As you can see from the illustration, the lymphatic system is all over the body. It also appears that loss of genitals was a side effect. This is what medical experts call the “Ken Doll Syndrome.” The young man in the illustration below still has his genitalia. We can assume that this is the early stage.

I have always been drawn to the stage, like a bee to honey. From an early age, I yearned for the smell of the greasepaint, and the roar of the crowd. Or was it the roar of the greasepaint and smell of the crowd?

The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd is a musical with book, music, and lyrics by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley. The musical is best known for introducing the standard "Feeling Good", made famous by Nina Simone. My particular interest in this song Feeling Good, was when it was sung by my late and dearly loved friend, Robert Harvey. My personal favourite Newley song is The Joker. As you will hear when you click on the link below, there is no connection with this song The Joker and Steve Miller’s The Joker. Anthony Newley was never called Maurice.

The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd is a rousing music-hall allegory, which explores British class structure through the antics of two comic figures: Sir, who has everything, and Cocky, who has nothing. The two clowns fiercely compete in a “Game of Life,” in which Sir holds every advantage.

Anthony Newley was a major influence to David Bowie’s vocal affectations. The elongated Cockney vowel sounds render his voice as an unmistakable one, which people either love or hate. A 13 year old David Bowie would watch Newley in The Strange World Of Gurney Slade.

Bowie’s 1967 single The Laughing Gnome is clearly an homage to Newley. Speaking to Michael Parkinson in a 2002 TV interview, Bowie said, “I never thought that I could sing very well and I used to kind of try on people’s voices if they appealed to me. When I was a kid – about 15, 16 – I got into Anthony Newley like crazy.”

The source of his obsession was pretty specific, as Bowie explained. “Before [Newley] came to the States and did the whole Vegas thing, he really did bizarre things over here. Things like a television series called The Strange World of Gurney Slade,which was so odd and off-the-wall, that I thought, ‘I like what this guy’s doing, where he’s going, he’s really interesting’. And so I started singing songs like him.”

Yesterday was supposed to have been my PET scan to confirm whether or not the radiation and chemo treatments rid my body of the cancer. They called me around 9 to let me know the scan was canceled due to lack of staff. It will have to be rescheduled, so the waiting continues.

Neck and Neck will have to hold their horses.