My Favourite Cancer

I have many favourites in this life. People that I adore. People that I love to bits, places that I love to go to, smells that charm, flavours that excite and challenge, textures that are so plush, and lush, velvety, smooth. Hard, sleek, stylish. Clothes, hats, even the weather.

And music. What would I do without music? This stack is called THIS IS NOT MUSIC! to differentiate between my love of music and my love of language and composition. I love hearing music and I love making music.

Favourites are all about choice. Micro decisions that we make without thinking too hard. Passions. Desires. Attractions. Not just two choices. Not just yes or no, black or white, right or wrong, slime or sticky. The beauty is in the shadows. The heart nestles in the mess we have carefully woven.

Favourites can be as easy as breathing, as hard as not breathing. The one thing we all get in this life is choice. Some folks have more choices that others, or that is how we perceive it, but sometimes there are too many choices. Distractions. Baubles. Nuts. SQUIRREL!!!

Dogs are simple. They want to eat, they want to walk, run circles, sniff things, dig for buried treasure. Pirates of the picnic! Hey Boo-Boo! What’s in that pic-a-nic basket?

This morning the dog and I walked through the neighborhood and saw the lush beauty of spring in all her glory. Giant roses, dahlias, alliums, flowers whose name I can only imagine. I was tempted to break off a few and bring them home for my favourite girl. But doing that, would deny others of their beauty, and soon after I have plucked them, they would wither, and petals would drop, and little ants hidden in the folds would emerge, and pollen would cause favourite girl to sneeze. So I left the beautiful flowers where they were, for everyone to enjoy.

I titled today’s stack My Favourite Cancer. That is what we call humour. Also click bait to be honest. Provocative. Bold. Slightly misleading. How can ANY cancer be a favourite? Shouldn’t we love them all equally without bias?

My cancer is personal, but allow me to share it with you. Not share as in “give” to you. You are all responsible for your own cancers, and they take many shapes and forms.

My cancer, the one that I am working hard to kill, is a head and neck cancer, it is a throat cancer. More specifically, it is located at the base of my tongue, and is thought to be caused by exposure to the HPV virus at some point in my life.

HPV is the Human Papilloma Virus, which sounds beautiful. Like a beautiful black shiny Argentine horse. As the doctors said, if you’ve ever had sex, you most likely have been exposed to HPV. For most people, HPV comes into your body through the intimate machinery of sex. And for most people, it then leaves. Passes through. Just stopped to say hello. A neighbourly virus. Friendly. Perhaps, in some cases too friendly. But the point, and yes some get the point and some are the pointed, or even appointed, or many times disappointing, but the point is the passing through part.

But for some people, the HPV takes a shine and decides to set a spell, takes its virus shoes off, and goes down for a big nap, a long sleep, lying dormant in your cells until the day it decides, like all flowers, to bloom. And grow. And spread.

So that is my cancer. So when I say Fuck Cancer, it really is a Fuck Cancer. Literally.

And how could that be bad?

Well, it emerges for many women in your cervix, which is a body part way down in the female anatomy, and not a slinky wild cat the poops out coffee beans, which are supposedly exquisite.

Or it can manifest itself in the base of a tongue, a most handy and charming body part, particularly loved by men and women and “all in the between and around those two poles.” Extremely useful for eating, enjoying the eating, talking, singing, licking, penetrating…..oh stop!

Tongues are special, no way around it. In the cut-throat, throat cancer world, tongues are king. They are something else. Many famous people have collected this favourite cancer, including the great actor Michael Douglas, who famously blamed it on all the pussy he had pleasured. All the pleasure his giant ego/ tongue had pleasured. And his wife was so embarrassed by his bravado that she left him for awhile, but in the end, love conquered all.

Beside Michael Douglas’s libidinous Lothario, we present a more modest boast. A smile curls, as we remember all the wonderful experiences that may have contributed to this health crisis, or opportunity. Yes, some people look at this as an opportunity. I see it as such. It is an opportunity to evaluate where I am now, and consider where I want to go next. I have many choices. And with the talents of my physicians, hopefully, I will get to enjoy many more experiences, and develop many more favourites.

So this is my favourite cancer, because it us the only cancer I have. I am not dying, I just have cancer. A fuck cancer that is getting royally fucked by radiation, and chemo and a ton of love. Drown it in love. Get me drunk on love and have your way.

I would have it no other way.

Because you are my favourite reader.

The Facts of the Fuck Cancer

Among 15- to 59-year-olds, 2 in 5 (40%) people will have HPV. There are many different types of HPV; most do not cause any health problems. HPV is a different virus than HIV or (HSV) herpes.

HPV can cause cervical cancer, and other cancers, including cancer of the vulva, vagina, penis, or anus.

It can also cause cancer in the back of the throat (called oropharyngeal cancer). This can include the base of the tongue and tonsils.

Cancer often takes years, even decades, to develop after a person gets HPV.

I asked my oncologist is this cancer was on the rise. We discussed how it first came to light in the 1990’s and was thought to be related to marijuana. Instead it was the sex that came after the marijuana.

He agreed with me that HPV cancer is a generational time bomb, and lucky old me, as I am in that generation. Yes, talking ‘bout my generation.

Except now that we get older, we don’t want to die. Or fade away. We want to continue to live and learn and give.

So we need to fuck cancer, especially the fuck cancer, HPV.

New Judys Fuck Cancer t-shirts are available this weekend. We have all sizes. $40 ea.

e-transfer to millsdw@telus.net

Special thank you’s to my patrons. Your faith keeps me motivated.