Lump loves Pussycats
Lump is hallucinating. His dreams are consuming. Little old unassuming Lump,landlocked in the middle of my neck, where he dreams of travel, to finally be free, unfettered, roaming from soft shoulders to the nether regions.
Put yourself in my shoes, Lump murmurs, only because murmur is one of those great words, just because it sounds like a great word. Murmur. Murder. Her her.
Here here, gentleman-don’t get lost in your internal dialogue.
This “thing” has needs.
Lump has needs.
Lump is listening to his favourite songs by the great Harry Nilsson, Lump loves Pussycats.
Who doesn’t love pussycats? The internet loves pussycats. TikTok loves pussycats, so we can infer(another great word- infer meet murmur)that the Chinese love pussycats almost as much as they love balloons. Don’t you love how we say “The Chinese”, as if they are one uniform entity, rather than billions of living breathing beautiful human beings? That kind of reductionist thought causes wars to happen.
Pussycats, the album, has so many great songs; they are all great songs. But listening to Harry Nilsson sing his beautiful voice out in the process of making this masterpiece is heartbreaking and illuminating. There is light in a crack where the darkness grows, just as Lump grew from a little speck in his Father’s eye. A little speck? Was Lump a floater in a previous life?
The past lives of Lump. This thing is writing itself. A little speck like a lovely little siren, a lonely little sperm that swam faster than all the rest, beating those laggards to the punch bowl.
“Who buries who? You bury me. I’ll bury you, “ Harry sings with hand claps in Down by the Sea, while a piano tinkles and the ocean crashes. Now it’s the birth of punk rock, Subterranean Homesick Blues. Harry and his buddy in crime John Fucking Lennon rewriting Dylan going electric. A saxophone cries. How many cigarettes and bottles of whiskey informed this song? Lump loves cigars and single malt, almost as much as late night pizza.
Pussycats veers from intimate murmurs to a party with a bunch of loud drunks with funny hats and clown cars. Loop de Loop.
Don’t Forget Me, Lump implores. Implore is also a great word.
Murmur, infer, implore. For those at home keeping score.
Lump is keeping score, scoring like a teenager. Scoring like Fred Van Vleet making the 3 point shot from way outside the perimeter. Scoring like Bernard Herrmann in Taxi Driver.
Harry’s originals like Old Forgotten Soldier mourning how they took away his war. Someone left his gun out in the rain. I don’t think that he can take it, it took so long to shoot it , and the recipe- you can find the recipe on the internet. You can read about it every day. Thoughts and sprayers.
The highlight of Pussycats is Don’t Forget Me. Lump loves this little beauty.
Don’t Forget Me
In the wintertime keep your feet warm
But keep your clothes on and don't forget me
Keep the memories
But keep your powder dry too
In the summer by the poolside
While the fireflies are all around you
I'll miss you when I'm lonely
I'll miss the alimony too
Don't forget me, don't forget me
Make it easy, only just for a little while
You know I'll think about you
Let me know you'll think about me too
And when we're older and full of cancer
It doesn't matter now, come on get happy
'Cause nothing lasts forever
But I will always love you
Don't forget me, please don't forget me
Make it easy, only just for a little while
You know I'll think about you
Let me know you'll think about me too
Harry Nilsson
“And when we're older and full of cancer”.
Lump sheds a little tear for that beauty. How funny is that?
Lump asks ChatGPT What’s so funny about cancer?
ChatGPT, even the “ai” is a cat- for sure the internet was invented by cats:
“What fun things can you do with cancer?
ChatGPT says: I'm sorry, but there is no fun thing you can do with cancer. Cancer is a serious and potentially life-threatening disease that requires immediate medical attention and treatment. It is important to take a proactive approach to managing cancer by seeking medical advice and treatment as soon as possible.
However, there are ways to cope with the challenges of cancer and find joy in life despite the illness. Many people with cancer find comfort in spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies and interests, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and seeking support from a therapist or support group. It's important to focus on self-care and prioritize activities that bring you joy and comfort during this difficult time.”
Lump is laughing his little Lump head off. He is dedicating his lump of a life to finding the humour. Humour me, says Lump.
Back in the old days, cancer was thought to be caused by the Humours, specifically Black Bile.
black bile. noun. : the one of the four humors of ancient and medieval physiology that was believed to be secreted by the kidneys and spleen and to cause melancholy.
Harry is singing about Black Sails.
“But you're so veiny
You probably think this map belongs to you
And I'm so crazy
What can I do?”
Harry Nilsson
Nilsson is one of the great ballad singers, and also the great ballad writers. Funny, his biggest hit was Without You, which he did not write, but made it his own in a way that was definitive.
Lump says Save The Last Dance For Me. No doubt, I assure him. We dance with the one one that brought us.
Yesterday I went back for a second CT scan. They wanted to get a better picture of my head, which my photographer friends have been saying for years,”Let me get a better picture of your head.”
Today I see the ENT guy. Ear, Nose, Throat. Collect them all I say. The word cancer itself can and does mean so many things to so many people.
It just sounds bad, but often is “curable”, whatever that means. As my brother said, It is a great time to get cancer. They really know what they’re doing. Not like the old days, when the solution for everything was to drill a hole in your head and let that black bile flow, really flow, like a river it flows.
Well, I’m just here for the ride, says Lump.
I say I always love a good road trip. Or we could watch a good road movie, or just sing all the good road songs.
She’ll be coming round that mountain when she comes.