Happy Fatherland Day
Today is the day we will call Fatherland Day in honour of Fearless Leader, who is without a doubt the greatest Fearless Leader we have ever known in the Fatherland.
Today we celebrate with a Parade of Lethal Sorrow, raising our voices and hearts in the Heroic Hymn to Him, that age old song of Old Men, for the World is Made by Old Men, is run by Old Men, and Fearless Leader is the most Fearless of all Old Men.
Fearless Leader has done His best to rid our Fatherland of pernicious predators who pummel our Present with their perversions, pestilence and parallel parking.
He has called forth the Nice Men of ICE, who henceforth will be known as NICE, a more pleasing and representative name for their Glorious Service in the name of Fearless Leader.
We read today from the quotes of Fearless Leader:
“Bono, if you fail me again… you will be transferred to Siberia. In pieces!”
“Robert, if you fail me again… you will be transferred to Idaho. In pieces!”
“Judas, if you fail me again… you will be transferred to Gaza. In pieces!”
Fearless Leader:
“Are you talkin’ about me? Are you talkin’ about me? There’s nobody else here… so you must be talkin’ about me!”
Fearless Leader:
“Our mission is simple: to take over the world, (Again), and maybe a few convenience stores along the way.”
Fearless Leader:
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure! I am a genius of not making mistakes. Messes in my pants are also not happening. (Again)
Fearless Leader:
“Nobody takes over the world better than me. People are always saying it — very smart people. Tremendous leadership!”
Fearless Leader:
“Boris and Natasha? Total disasters. Low energy spies. I only hire the best, but sometimes you get stuck with leftovers from Moose & Squirrel.”
Fearless Leader:
“We’re going to build a wall around our Homeland — and Frostbite Falls, which is what I call the 51st State, is going to pay for it. In Canadian Dollars! Believe me.”
Fearless Leader:
“Fake news says I’m a cartoon Fearless Leader. Folks, I’m the real deal — nobody’s more villainous than me. I’ve got all the best schemes.”
Fearless Leader:
“When I take over the World of social media, my Parade will be the most watched parade in the History of world. Way better ratings than Biden and Squirrel. Sad!”
Fearless Leader:
“They say I have a manly scar on my ear. It’s a beautiful scar. People love it. Best scar. Makes me look strong. Masculine. Presidential even.”