GARBAGE BIN

Have you seen this?

Possibly the worst AND best show on TV.

All roads lead to Garbage Bin.

You are born, you die, Garbage Bin.

Don’t believe me? I realize I have no Wikipedia page, my wife calls me an unreliable narrator, and friends hang up when they hear me loading the dishwasher in the background, but what do the critics say?

“Garbage Bin represents the very nadir of popular culture. If this is what the “ kids” are into now, God help us.” - Rev. Charles Rexter Rhodes, Galveston Gnostic Monitor

“I thought I had seen it all, but Garbage Bin blew my mind. This is epic. This is not your Mother’s dry fried chicken, Without a doubt, this gritty hardcore splatter jazz left me cold and eating. GB suffers from underwritten characters mumbling what could only be described as indecipherable slang. The actors, and I say that only because I can’t think of more derogatory word, stagger through apocalyptic alleys, falling in love, while searching for a plot. Also the annoying repetition. Also the annoying repetition. Hypnotic.” - Jane Pain, American Shelftalker

“Why and more importantly, how did this takeout container of irredeemable bike ever get a green light? TikTok has much to answer for here. Do we blame the Chinese or the Americans? Frankly the whole thing left me confused, and wanting my Mommy. “ -Boris Hadanov, Soviet Truth and Times

“If I could cancel anyone, without judgement, it would the writer and director of Garbage Bin. It had me in knots, then tears, then extreme stomach discomfort, followed by an hour in the bathroom. I lost track of which end was up. Of course I loved every minute, but don’t tell my support group.” Ethica Calico-The LBTGQ2?XOXO Digest

The plot was simple.

A man.

A woman.

A shopping cart missing a wheel that talks.

A radioactive dog.

Monkeys on mushrooms on bicycles.

I prayed it would never end.

SPOILER: everybody dies.

Good news? I hear Garbage Bin 2 is already in the can.