From the A-Ha Moment to the Ha-Ha Moment

Nobody ever asked me what goes into being a father, presumably because no one cares or nobody was curious, or everyone but me already knew the answer. On the most basic level, very little goes into becoming a father.

To be more precise, the very little part of the prospective papa goes in and out for a short time with the prospective mama, resulting in what Big Science calls the a-ha moment.

While very little goes into becoming a father, much goes into being a father. After the a-ha moment, the prospective mother-to-be discovers the choice to be made as to whether or not fatherhood and motherhood will happen. Please note that this choice happens only in countries where woman still make decisions regarding their own bodies. And as Jackie Gleason said, “Away we go!”

The long days journey into long nights of babyhood, motherhood, and fatherhood begins. Or doesn’t. Once again, her body, her choice. My Mother, who brought seven kids into this world, strongly believed in that choice. But it is not to be taken lightly.

This rather difficult decision to dedicate decades of your life to the development of a baby to child, from teenager to young adult, from “ crayons to perfume”, from the not so young adult to the not so old adult, and on and on to the point of no return, where they reach maturity, and we either harvest or let them go to seed, there comes a time when the “baby” is presented with the similar set of decisions, and choices.

This circle of life, or as musicians call it—the cycle of fists— certainly this cycle demands its own lane. There is great risk in wandering into another lane. I have learned from experience that it is best to stay in my own mansplain lane. I know my place.

I am there to offer support.

I am here to help.

I am here to listen.

I am here to help you find the a-ha moment and find the punchline that bring us to the haha moment.

My role was not to teach my daughter, but to be open to having her teach me.

I feel it has been a success. She is not afraid to tell me when I am wrong. I am not so right that I can’t pause to consider her suggestions.

Does it rankle? Damn right. But as a former drunkle, it is important to rankle the drunkle. It is important to debunkle the drunkle. It is important to keep your eyes on the ball when driving the carbuncle.

I will show myself out.

ELETELEPHONY

ONCE THERE WAS AN ELEPHANT

WHO TRIED TO USE THE TELEPHANT

NO! NO! I MEAN THE ELEPHONE

WHO TRIED TO USE THE TELEPHONE.

DEAR ME, I’M NOT CERTAIN QUITE

THAT EVEN NOW I GOT IT RIGHT.

HOWE’ER IT WAS, HE GOT HIS TRUNK

ENTANGLED IN THE TELEPHUNK;

THE MORE HE TRIED TO GET IT FREE,

THE LOUDER BUZZED THE TELEPHEE—

( I FEAR I BETTER DROP THE SONG

OF ELEPHOP AND TELEPHONG!)

Linda Richards