FOX AND CHICKEN

What animal kills the most chickens?

Is it this cute little guy? I have never seen one in real life, although my foxy wife saw a fleeting fox in London while we were visiting friends. It was dark at the end of the evening. It happened quickly. I did not see it happen, and cannot verify her account, but I take her word. Why? Because she is foxy.

THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPED OVER THE LAZY DOG.

I didn’t see the lazy dog either.

My sister-in-law tells us story of her heroic horse, Forest. Truly a forest of nature, this horse saved many a rooster from the hungry jaws of a quick Fox. The colour of the fox was not reported. The horse reportedly saw the fox grab the chicken, and as it ran away with the chicken in its mouth, the horse chased it, until the fox dropped said rooster. The Rooster’s name was Barack. Of course it was. And a horse is a horse, of course, of course. He’ll give you the answer that you endorse. Horses are like that. Rather obliging. They allow us humans to ride upon their backs. Some with benefit of saddle. And some bareback.

OK, here he goes again.

According to The Scoop From The Coop, “raccoons and domestic dogs probably kill more chickens than any other animals and live in both rural and urban areas. Raccoons are surprisingly abundant- even in New York City. NEW YORK CITY?!?!

Often the first reaction a flockowner has when birds are killed is to seek revenge.

Why that little varmint! Get the rifle!

Let me explain the foul facts of chicken living:

• Because chickens are flock animals, they try to mask their symptoms so the other birds don’t know that they are sick. They go into work sick. When is our government going to force these flocking owners to quit flipping the bird, and give the bird a break? I mean to allow their chicks a sick day. Why it’s barely humane!

• Some signs of illness include listlessness, loss of appetite, pale fact. Did they mean face? What is pale fact? The opposite of white lies?

• Check for parasites under the wings of skinny chickens. Which begs the question, what is under the wings of plump chickens? Skinny chickens?

• Poultry dust can help to get rid of mites and lice. That is why me and the missus keep a box of poultry dust on hand. Perfect for these occasions. We store it next to our Dance Wax.

  

• Backyard flock owners typically have tiny coops. They are often tempted to crowd too many birds together. Crowding encourages cannibalism, egg eating, fighting, odor and disease. Good flock managers give chickens room to roam. 

  

  Cannibalism. Even chickens say chickens taste like chicken.

  Other Facts of the Flock:

• They form tight bonds with others in their flocks, and create social groups amongst themselves. Chickens do not all get along, however, and chickens will hold grudges against others for various reasons. Never make a chicken angry. These grudges are mitigated by the fact that most chickens grow up to be broilers, ready to pluck in just 32 days. Talk about eating then young!

• Chickens are very vocal by nature and will most definitely respond if you were to engage them in conversation. Chicks are just like feathery little toddlers who just discovered the wonder of words. I just can’t make this stuff up. Feathery little toddlers who taste like chicken?

• Sorry chicken.ca advises on the Signs to Help Determine the Culprit Behind the Killing

  After the loss of any member of your flock or family, you’ll need to answer the following questions to get a sense of what happened.

  • Did my chicken ( lover) die during the day, or did it happen at night?

  • How did it happen?

  • Which animal could have killed my chicken(s) ( lover) ?

  • Was it Professor Plum in the Kitchen with the Knife?

  • Miss Scarlet in the Library with the Lead Pipe?

  • Col. Mustard in the Conservatory with the Semi-Automatic?

If you really must find the killer, call Les Goodman Chicken Detective Agency.

We Specialize in Final Solutions to Fowl Play.

I find it ironic that we anthropomorphize the humble chicken and their evil killers, when the truth is that most chickens are born to die ( ok hatched).

The number one killer of chickens is us. Feathery little toddlers. Uncle Joe.

“The money’s not here,” George shares with his customers. “Your money’s in Joe’s house… and a hundred others. You’re lending them the money to build and then they’re going to pay it back to you the best they can.”

From Chicken.ca:

How much chicken does the average Canadian eat?

The average Canadian ate 34.6 kg ( 76 lbs per person in 2018).

Sorry chicken,indeed. We don’t even get the Bronze. Canada is only 15th highest per capita consumption in the world.

The Gold goes to Quatar. Number one with 50.4 kg ( 111 lbs per person per year). With an average life of 70 years, that equates to 7777 lbs.

Chickens are by far the most farmed animal in Canada. The total number of chickens raised for meat in Canada is estimated at 107.9 million. Chickens that are raised for meat are called broiler chickens, 32 day old broiler (meat) chickens.

In 2016, more than 706 million Canadian chickens were produced.

Chickens, by far, are the most consumed animal in Canada.

So the mystery is solved.

Fox is let off like OJ. He may have carried away a few hens, but his crimes pale in comparison to Man’s.

That is a pale fact.

Next on THIS IS NOT MUSIC…..IS THE SKY REALLY FALLING?

An inside look by reporter Henry Penny.